Dearest reader, | have been prolific this week and I have three books to recommend;  Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller M.A., The Five Love Languages: singles edition by Gary Chapman, and Dolly Alderton’s new Agony Aunt classic Dear Dolly.

Let’s start with Dolly Alderton’s new book. Which is based on her advice column at The Sunday Times. Dolly was offered her column at the Times in 2020, coinciding with the ultimate annus horribilis- the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. In this book, Dolly breaks down how most agonies fall into seven categories; Dating, Friendship, Relationships, Family, etc. Dolly longs for a broader range of problems, but I especially enjoyed Dolly’s observation that such various agonies are a chronicle of female anxiety. This anxiety comes from the fear of feeling that you are not being the right kind of girl from cradle to grave. I particularly enjoyed how Dolly reflects on her hecklers. One Heckler, in particular, rubbishes the column every week and Dolly actually manages to wish him well, by noting how he manages to turn the comments section into his own mini-column by delivering harsh judgments. Dolly notes how often people wish for clear-cut and puritanical judgments. Overall what I loved most about Dolly’s brand of advice is its witty, empathetic compassionate nature that does not judge its readership and is in no way puritanical. It makes for easy and entertaining reading.

The Five Love Languages: singles edition by Gary Chapman is a rewrite of Chapman’s book original book of the same name published and targeted towards married couples. This is no simple rehash. This edition does encourage a broader perspective on how the key premise of the original book can be applied to parenthood, the workplace, and the community. For those who have not read the original text, The heart of the book is that everyone has a particular style of expressing their affection for the people in their life, which can be broadly categorized as follows; 1. Affirmation, 2.Acts of Service, 3. Gifting, 4. Quality Time, and 5. Physical Touch. Through a variety of real-life anecdotes and analysis Chapman brings the reader to greater awareness of their own needs and how better to identify the needs of the people around them. I cannot recommend the book highly enough because through understanding the primary love language of family and friends, you can show up in the world for others better. By meeting them where they are emotionally and intellectually and therefore making them feel seen by mirroring their love language.

Last but not least- we have Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller M.A.. In Summary, the book examines the attachment theory that there are broadly four attachment styles; secure, anxious, avoidant, and then anxious/avoidant. A very encouraging statement to keep in mind while reading this book is that 50% of the population is said to be secure, 25% anxious and 25% avoidant. This is encouraging simply becasue it means humanity is less messed up then you may have percived it to be…you have a 1 in 2 chance of having an interaction with someone secure. I think this book does an excellent job of outlining what each of these attachment styles looks like, aiding the reader to self- relect on what their attachment style may be. It is important to understand that a person’s attachment style is malluable. Your attachment style can be shaped by stress and trauma but then be remade through secure interactions to become more postive.

All three books deal with the most common causes of conflict and miscommunication in various interpersonal relationships. Collectively these titles offer advice that covers the academic, spiritual and heartfelt. I came away with a better insight into myself and thus feel more qualified as an agony aunt to others. Conveniently, thought-provoking as I found all three titles, they also humorously remind me of f the song therapy from tick..tick boom! Or as Andrew Garfield introduces;

And now ladies and gentlemen….scenes from a modern romance…. as told in song …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=BAcG_tVWKM4&feature=youtu.be

Which also has an amusing french cover version;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86smRzdkxKI

Enjoy watching Tick…Tick…Boom! Next time we will be reviewing Eat, Pray Love.  All going well, please return next Wednesday to get my view on this Elizabeth Gilbert Classic. Which is akin to Tick…Tick…Boom! Both Deal with how the end of our twenties can often cause us to interrogate our progress in life and what lies at the true basis of our lives.